I Wear Short Shorts BECAUSE I’m a Feminist

19 Jul

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#IWearShortShorts #FierceFeminism

The other day I was sitting in a restaurant next to a man and I heard him say: “That girl’s shorts are too short. Looks like her daddy’s just preparing her for the stripper pole.” The girl and her father didn’t hear the comment, but I felt sick to my stomach. I was angry, but I didn’t really know what to say to him—I just knew he was wrong.

The very next week, the NY Daily News posted a picture of Sasha Obama in short shorts, and the media attacked Sasha, saying her clothes were “inappropriate.” Sasha Obama Shorts

Clutch Magazine ran Sasha’s story on their site, and commenters both defended and criticized Sasha’s clothing choice.  However, one commenter argued, “The real question shouldn’t be why little girls wear shorts, President’s daughter or not, but should be: why are grown people sexualizing little girls?”

I agree. Sasha and the girl I saw are just girls in shorts. The adult commenters are the ones sexualizing little girls. So if you have a problem with girls wearing short shorts, you should probably stop attributing sexual characteristics to them and just let them live their lives.

I’ve heard the argument that we must teach young girls to cover up in order to avoid being objectified. Yet, we really need to get out of this “she was asking for it” mindset. Instead of teaching girls to cover up in order to avoid perverts or judgment from others, we should teach others to stop poaching on children. I know it’s a reach because our society is very quick to blame the woman—but wearing short shorts is harmless. It doesn’t create danger for bystanders. It doesn’t kill innocent people. It’s kind of like the slogan “instead of teaching women to avoid rape, teach men not to rape.” Instead of telling girls to cover up, let’s encourage everyone not to sexualize them.

I’ve also heard the argument that young girls shouldn’t be allowed to wear revealing attire because they’re growing up too fast. I get that. Maybe girls are growing up fast, but come on—it’s not the literal clothing that’s making them grow up faster. If they are “fast girls” they are fast whether they wear revealing clothes or not. The clothes aren’t making them fast. I’d blame that on a combination of things: an overdose of sex-oriented advertisements marketed to young girls, poor role models in pop culture, lack of self-confidence and maturity, and so much more. Forcing a young girl to put on less revealing clothing doesn’t change the way she feels about herself, nor does it change her behavior.

Also, the judgment doesn’t stop when girls get older. Grown women who show a lot of skin are constantly shamed and deemed “slutty.”

We do it to one another. We shame other women based on how much cleavage is showing or how short their dress is because have been raised in a society that teaches that overtly sexy women are “impure” and deserve less respect. So we police their behavior and their appearance, label them sluts, and ook upon them as if they is stupid or broken.

But seriously—What is wrong with a woman being sexy? If she loves her body,  then she has the right to dress it as she pleases.

No one should have to alter their appearance to fit into what society believes is the “appropriate” or “respectable” way a woman should dress. In my understanding, part of being a feminist means loving yourself enough that you express yourself however you want, and allowing others to do the same.

Feminists challenge the ideas about women who show their bodies being “impure” or not worthy of respect. Therefore, I wear short shorts because I am a feminist (and for several other reasons—see amateur poetry below).

I wear short shorts because I am a feminist.

I wear short shorts because I want to, and because no one else can tell me what to do with my body.

I wear short shorts because it’s hot outside.

I wear short shorts because I love my body.

I wear short shorts because they are part of my outfit.

I wear short shorts because I like attention.

I wear short shorts because I’m sexy, and no, I am not “asking for it.”

I wear short shorts because I can— Get the f*ck over it.

You have to know that what I’m saying is not that revolutionary of a concept. Thousands of women partake in yearly Slut Walks, protest marches that calls for an end to slut shaming and rape culture.  Some feminists have even embraced the term “slut” in an attempt to reappropriate its meaning. Sluts now have their own website (What’s up Slutist!). Internationally, women have fought against slut-shaming and victim-blaming. Yet, it is difficult to protest sexist ideas that have existed in our society for centuries.

To contribute to this discussion on slut-shaming, for the next few weeks, my posts will be catered to body and sexual politics. In addition, I will utilize my facebook, pintrest, and tumblr for my “I Wear Short Shorts” mini photo-campaign.

For further reading on body politics and all things sluttty, check out Slutist.com.

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3 Things My Boyfriend Taught Me About Feminism

9 Jul

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My boyfriend is not a feminist. He will probably never claim feminism, he hated his Women’s Studies course in college, and no matter how much I point it out he cannot recognize his male privilege. Yet, some of my most crucial lessons on feminism are from him. Since the day I came out to him as a feminist, he has taught me these three things:

1. The Matter of Paying the Check

One day my boyfriend, Ryan,  had the nerve (the nerve!) to ask me, “How can you be a feminist and always expect me to pay the check?” At first I was quick to dismiss the subject with a quick “that’s the way it is,” but I thought about it and realized that he had raised an interesting point. Men are expected to pay the check partially because they are expected to handle the finances. Some women argue that in a push for gender equality, women must demand to be treated equal financially, and paying the check is included in that equality. They suggest going Dutch or taking turns paying. Others suggest that the one who makes the most money should pay (and since my bf and I are both drowning in student loans, we should probably stay our butts at home).

Honestly, I get that whole gender equality argument for women paying. Power to the women who pay! But I won’t be reaching for the check. I won’t even pretend to. Being wined and dined makes me feel appreciated. I’m happy as long as the guy isn’t expecting anything physical in return (I know some guys do—but those are the guys you let pay and then toss to the reject pile).

2. The Importance of Car Maintenance.

Car maintenance is a feminist issue! My bf didn’t say those exact words of course, but he showed me that women need to put more effort on learning about their cars.

When my car got a flat, the first thing I did was call AAA. Ryan got irritated, saying that I need to learn to change a tire on my own.

I wasn’t convinced.  “Well then what the heck do I have AAA for?” I said.

Then he presented me with a scenario: what if you get a flat and your phone is dead?

He then explained that I also need to learn the basics about my car so I don’t get ripped off by mechanics. According to Ryan and the Better Business Bureau (I looked it up), a mechanic is more likely to pad a bill when the customer is a woman.

Often times, young girls are not taught about cars like young guys are because our society doesn’t expect or demand girls to know about anything that involves getting our hands a little dirty.  As a result, we run the risk of getting ripped off by mechanics and auto repair shops.

I know this isn’t the biggest issue facing women, but if you want to save money on costly repairs and feel empowered, here are my suggestions:

~Call up a friend who knows something about cars and have them give you a lesson on the basics. You should at least know how to:

  • Check the oil and add more when needed
  • Check the water (also called coolant)
  • Change a tire
  • Change the windshield wipers
  • Learn the basic terminology so you can understand what a mechanic is saying

~Google and Youtube whatever you don’t know

~Read the manual (I know it’s boring but it has some information about the car that can save you a bit of money)

3. The REAL definition of feminism

When I told Ryan I was a feminist, he then asked, “Okay, so what’s feminism.” Having already taken a class, he knew the definition—but he likes challenging people’s ideas. I fell right into his trap.

“Feminism,” I told him, feeling all proud that I was going to instruct him on something (I didn’t know he had taken the class), “is believing in and fighting for equal rights for women.”

“No it’s not,” he told me. “It’s not just about women.” He explained that a lot of people get that definition wrong and don’t understand that the real definition of feminism is believing in equality for all people.

Now, I don’t like being wrong, and I certainly don’t like being corrected. So I fought him on  it, explaining that women are the ones who are not treated equally in society. I went on about sexism and double-standards and all that—but in the end, he was right (well, we were both right—he was just more right).

Feminism does focus on women’s issues, but it is about equality for all, social justice, and human rights. It touches on issues of class, race, gender, sexuality, and political influence.

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There Won’t be a 2nd Date if…

3 Jul

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I recently came across an article about dating turn-offs and I didn’t love it. So I thought I’d do my own list. Feel free to add on to my list—and let me know what your dating no-no’s are. Here are mine:

  • The only reading he does is the track list of the Yeezus album (By the way, Born Sinner was better and I don’t support Kanye). Here’s the thing: I’m an avid reader. Reading is sexy. I don’t date guys that don’t read!
  • Video games are his only form of exercise. Sorry, playing NBA 2K13 on your XBOX does not count as a sport. He doesn’t have to have abs like David Beckham, but I will not date a couch potato.
  • He doesn’t know how to express himself without dropping an F bomb every few seconds.

Some guys have the most triflin ways try and get a woman’s number and attention. So…

There Won’t Even be a 1st Date if…

  • He doesn’t understand the concept of personal space. I have issues when guys  touch me when we first meet. You may disagree with me on this one, but I have a thing for personal space. If I don’t know you don’t touch me! Don’t put your arm around me. Don’t hug me. Keep your hands to yourself.
  • He says “Aye” or “Come here” (or something along the lines of the dog in the 1st picture) to get my attention. That is so rude! I don’t respond well to commands or shouts from strange men on the streets. If you want to talk to me—move your ass over to where I’m standing.
  • He makes comments about my body before he knows my name. Some guys seem to think it’s a turn on to comment on body parts to get a woman’s attention. But really it shows exactly what’s on their minds. Also, if someone comments on a part of my body as an opening line, it feels as if they are not seeing me as a whole person.  
  • He comes to the door with his pants sagging. Seriously? Grow the hell up! I’m not 100% sure when this trend became popular, but I remember my friends sagging their pants in 5th grade. It’s not cool anymore (I’m not sure it ever was).  Let that trend die please.
  • He’s old enough to be my father. The audacity of some older men! I am in my early 20’s and prefer not to date too much older than myself. I know some women prefer to date older, but if you can remember the Korean War—back up.
  • He doesn’t know the definition of NO.
    Can I have it? Can I have it?

    Can I have it? Can I have it?

    For some odd reason, some guys seem to think that if they ask for my number several times in other ways, I will give it to them. It’s like, you asking again and stressing your desire to have it is not going to make me change my mind.

Am I forgetting any major 1st/2nd date turn offs? What are your major deal breakers?

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