The other day, some self-righteous troll commented on my blog saying that wearing my short shorts is prideful. He/she went on to tell me that I should stop showing off my body, and instead focus on serving my brothers and sisters. He/she also blamed me for “the sins of my brothers and sisters.”
My apologies y’all—I didn’t realize my outfit was powerful enough lead good men and women away from their faith.
Lucky for me, the person promised to pray for me so that I will be rescued from my evil, shorts-wearing ways.
Since all of my readers aren’t fortunate enough to have oh-so-thoughtful internet-commenters praying for them, I figured I should help y’all out.
In order to save the rest of my sexy sisters from degradation, I’ve created this handy list for black women to use in order to navigate through life in a way that is respectable in our society.*
- If someone is having “impure” thoughts because your body is curvy, it’s completely your fault. People are not responsible for their own actions—it’s all on you. Keep that in mind when you get dressed every morning.
- Yes, you might have been created curvy, but you were meant to cover up those curves.
- Stop twerking already! It’s only considered an art form when white women do it—when you twerk, it’s just plain vulgar.
- Any love of your body is prideful and needs to stop immediately. Your job is to focus on loving and serving everyone else—but definitely not yourself.
- Showing off does not mean you love your body—it means you have low self-esteem. It means you are looking for attention. So if a guy approaches you in a rude or aggressive manner, you only have yourself to blame.
- Don’t you dare breastfeed in public. Especially not when your baby is wailing with hunger—that’s just plain rude. Go to the foul smelling public restroom. That is what restrooms are for; that is the only place suitable to feed an infant.
- Rihanna, Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, and all other black popstars are the scum of the earth. There is nothing we can learn from the Queens of THOTs. Their indiscretions and claiming that their bodies are their own is not to be mimicked.
- You can’t be smart and sexy. No, women aren’t that complex. Either you’re a THOT, or you aren’t—but you probably are.
- No matter how many of you are out there graduating with advanced degrees, working hard to provide for your families, and/or being successful in whatever you put your mind to, as a whole, you will always be ratchet bitches that aint shit (but hoes and tricks). Know your place.
*Psst, This is satire. However, some of these are quotes from what ignorant people have commented my “I Wear Short Shorts Because I’m a Feminist” post and a few other posts.
Thoughts? Drop them in the comment box.
Anonymous commenting is available there as well.
A Woman's Worth 
What behavior DO you find shameful or not worth emulating? Progression towards moral relativism is something to watch carefully… at what point did it become ok for a woman or a man (or girl or boy) to do absolutely anything they want? People want to do things that are harmful, disgraceful, mean, or ignorant all the time, and there are ideas about morals and decency and context for a reason.
There could be a time and a place for twerking and pushup bras and maybe Nicki Minaj/popstar consumerism, but what kind of world do you really want to live in? I would rather live in a world where people concentrate on more important things like character and kindness.
Disclaimer: I have no problem with shorts.
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Hey Anna!
(Sorry for the delayed response- it’s been a crazy week.)
I think there are certain things that shouldn’t be emulated— things that promote violence, hatred, injustice, homophobia, racism, sexism, etc. I wrote this article, though, because women are severely judged for things men get away with on a regular basis:
Like the guy who made the comment blaming me for others’ sins– his type of thinking, that I’m causing men to sin by wearing short shorts, is the same logic people use to justify rape, “she was asking for it, she tempted him.”
So I often look at the imbalance of power when it comes to how people are treated in certain situations. And often times, black women are harshly judged for things that other groups of people aren’t judged for.
In regards to moral relativity, I understand the concept but I’d love to read more on it. Got any suggestions? I have to say though that I understand the argument for moral relativity only because some people’s standards for making more judgments are often littered with prejudices that they don’t even realize are there—I’ve actually realized that several times in my own moral judgments.
But the topic is very interesting. If you have any reading suggestions, send them my way for sure.
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Great post, love it.
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