Come Correct! The Right Way to Approach a Woman

25 Nov


Yesterday I found this on the internet:


And it made me start to think about the way we approach people when we want to ask them out.

Some men go straight for the rude approach and catcall. And for those street harassers, two awesome artists,  Photographer Hannah Price and street artist/illustrator Tatyana Fazlalizadeh, found a new way to call out their catcallers. Whenever someone catcalled at Price, she turned her camera on the guy and snapped his photo, which she published in a project called “City of Brotherly Love.”  Fazlalizadeh illustrated several posters to put up around cities with messages that read, “Women are not outside for your entertainment” and “Stop telling women to smile,” among other things.

In previous posts, I’ve talked about the wrong ways to approach women and my horrific encounters with guys who felt entitled to touch my body as if it were public property. Yet, I’ve never talked about the correct way to approach a woman. And with all the stories I’ve heard from friends who tell me about awful experiences they’ve had with guys who violated their personal space, clearly, some people need to learn.

I recently met a guy who had been taught how to respectfully (and smoothly) approach a woman. Male readers, take note:

I was sitting on a bench on campus reading a boring book for class when this guy walks by and asks what I’m reading. (LESSON 1- Comment on something other than my body).

He sits down on another bench nearby (LESSON 2- Respect personal space). We chat briefly about the book and then talk about our majors. (LESSON 3- Have a nice and brief conversation). After about 4 minutes, he asked for my number. And when I told him no, he responded, “Well I hope you have a nice day and that your book gets better,” and then he was on his way (LESSON 4- Walk away respectfully).

As he left, I felt the need to give him a round of applause. Sadly, no strange man had been that respectful to me in a long time. I so appreciated his approach: simple and respectful. But it’s pretty sad that I felt the need to thank him. It’s sad that I have to tell strangers not to touch my body or that I don’t appreciate the way they talk to me. But because it’s such an issue, I’m going to make a point to thank the guys that approach me respectfully. Hopefully, that encourages them and others to continue to do so.

And since I didn’t get a chance to thank that guy:

Dear Dwaine,

Thank you for treating me like a human being.

Related Posts: “Aye Sexy” is NOT How I Like to be Approached

There Won’t be a Second Date If…

You Can Find Me in Da Club—but Don’t Touch Me!

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