
Why Grand Theft Auto Needs Female Characters
19 Sep
Top 20 Things You Must Do in Your Twenties
28 AugLately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be grown. I’ve recently graduated from college, picked out grad schools to apply for, and began seriously thinking about what I want to do with my life. Meanwhile, everyone on my Facebook newsfeed seems to be getting married, having children, or traveling the world. It’s kind of overwhelming. My best friend recently made a list of things she wanted to do now that she’s graduated from college. So now that I’ve supposedly entered “the real world” and am considered an ADULT (even though I don’t feel like one), I’ve wanted to create a checklist for Twenty-Somethings. So I asked many women (and a few men), ages 21-82, what they think women should do in their twenties.
I originally compiled this list for women; however, the majority of these things work for men too.
- Introduce yourself to the HOTTEST guy at the bar, embarrass yourself and not care, do something unexpected. Nearly everyone I interviewed suggested that 20 Somethings should do bold things because people grow when they ditch their security blankets and take on daring adventures.
- Learn to be assertive. This is a must. For those who have a hard time, when you find yourself in situation where you need to be assertive, think of someone assertive and ask yourself: what would so-and-so do/say?
- Pay for someone else’ meal or coffee. Get in the habit of giving and committing random acts of kindness. Things like paying for someone really makes a person’s day.
- Find a cause to support.
- Focus on your strengths. I recently read a book called Strength Finder, which discussed how people become so obsessed with their weaknesses that they forget to focus on their strengths. However, learning to fully use your strengths can advance your career and help in your business and personal relationships.
- Start a savings account that you don’t touch. Maybe in the future that account will help pay for your first house.
- Take fashion risks. Wear blue lipstick, mixed prints, and bright colors. Here’s some ideas if you need a few.
- Unlearn the idea they teach in sappy romantic comedies: that you need a man. It’s a lie—you don’t need a significant other to be complete.
- Learn to cut people out of your life. Every freind is not a good friend. The one’s that aren’t happy about your success—gotta go!
- Get to know your body so you stay healthy throughout your lifetime. Learn to do self breast-exams. Get your “Oops Oh My” on (Singer Tweet reference—look it up if you don’t know).
- Find a mentor or several. They’ve been where you’ve are and can really help you out. My mentors have helped me get writing jobs, talked to me about grad school, and given me necessary spiritual guidance.
- Live on your own. One of my mentors suggested this because she says some women go straight from their parent’s house to living with their spouse. Yet, if (God forbid) your spouse dies or if you get a divorce—you need to know how to live on your own.
- Learn to embrace change.
- Become a top chef. I’m not saying this to be sexist. A girl’s gotta eat! Everyone should learn to feed themselves. Dining in is much cheaper and often healthier than eating out.
- Take a self-defense class.
- Learn to negotiate your salary.
- Take some time to yourself every now and then. Time for self-care and evaluation can be rejuvenating.
- Ask someone out. Most people say that a man should always pursue and the women should wait until they are asked. However, that leaves us women somewhat powerless and always waiting. Yet, if you take matters into your own hands and go after what you want, you might just get the guy (or woman, whatever your preference). Be bold and assertive!
- Travel Almost everyone I interviewed said traveling should be on the list because 20 Somethings aren’t as tied down to jobs, families, and kids as older adults.
- Talk to people that have different values from your own on a regular basis. This will help you to understand others that come from different backgrounds and it will open your mind.
Okay, I lied…I couldn’t keep it down to 20, so here are a few others you might enjoy:
Try a new hairstyle Here are some ideas.
Develop a consistent exercise routine
Eat whatever the hell you want in moderation, of course.
Take fun classes like capoeira, belly dancing, sculpting, or whatever you like.
Date a lot of people
Go to the movies by yourself. Why are people so afraid of doing that?
Get over a few irrational fears
Keep Reading! Don’t stop reading now that you’re done with school. Maybe now you can get around to those books you actually want to read.
Volunteer
Enjoy your hobbies
Feel free to add to this list! If you think I left out something major, post it in the comment section and I’ll add it in with your name (or anonymously if you’d prefer that too).
*Shout to my awesome best friend Aliya for inspiring this post! And special thanks to everyone who contributed (including Sharon, Ash, Chris, Vangie, fam in Chicago).
Top 7 Perks of Shaving Your Head
28 MarAs bald and buzzed cuts become increasingly popular, women are daring to shave their heads. I’ve worn a buzzed cut for nearly 3 years, and I have to say: it’s been a psychological, emotional, and amusing experience. I had to adjust to a different look and reactions that I got because of the new look. Hair is major part of a person’s identity, and there are implications whenever someone drastically changes their hair.
And honestly, there are so many advantages to having no hair.
1. Everyone thinks you’re the most confident person in the world
People see bald/buzzed cut women and assume they are the most confident beings on the planet. It’s the bald woman’s stereotype. And I say, just go with it. Exude that confidence.
2. You don’t have to be afraid of water
On a rainy day my freshman year, two black friends and I ran back to our dorm from main campus. Our white friend trailed slowly behind. When we got there my white friend jokingly said, “So, are black girls afraid of water?” I know that wasn’t the most PC thing to say, but it was funny and held some truth. If our hair is styled a certain way, we avoid rain, swimming, and exercise. Prior to cutting my hair, I often had to choose between straightening my hair and exercising. I hated deciding between the two because it seemed like such a shallow decision. Now I exercise whenever I want, and sometimes (rarely) I’ll even swim.
3. Being bald weeds out shallow men
Bald is not the average type of pretty. I used to worry that men wouldn’t be attracted to me because I had no hair. And that may be the case. Some men prefer women with long hair (their loss). However, I’ve noticed the types of guys that are interested in me have a certain personality. Often times they are more open-minded, sophisticated, down to earth, and sure of themselves. (Not to say I don’t get my share of “Aye where yo boyfriend at?” That still happens—but I could spend a whole nother post talking about that).
4. Your hair is ready for any occasion
Ever have those days where you get dressed, look in the mirror, and you look absolutely stunning from toe to hairline—and then you’re hair just kills it? Buzzed cuts look perfect almost all of the time.
5. Less time and money on hair products, weaves, salon appointments, etc.
If I could take back all of the hours I spent in the salon or in front of the mirror braiding, twisting, straightening, or wet-setting my hair, I’d be a published fiction writer by now.
I know I don’t have to go into detail about the time that goes into maintaining hair. I also know I don’t have to talk about the price of a weave or any other style that requires time at the salon. Meanwhile, I can cut my own hair in less than 25minutes. Or, I can go to a barbershop and get it cut for $20.
6. You get showered with complements
Not to seem cocky, but I always get things like “I love your style,” “Not many people can pull that off,” and “You are so beautiful.” I didn’t receive that much attention prior to cutting my hair. Buzzed cuts are bold, edgy, and make a statement. You always stand out when you’re the only bald girl in the room.
7. You’ll inspire others
I’ve noticed that people are inspired when they see women with buzzed cuts. It gives some women the reassurance that they can cut their own hair. Sometimes seeing an example of a unique form of beauty inspires others to express their own rare beauty.
Tips for women who want to cut their hair:
- Keep your natural hairline. Some people disagree with me on this one. Really, it depends on your face. I have my natural hairline and I love it. If you’re unsure. I would keep it when you first cut it, and if you don’t like it, you can change it.
- Just do it! I absolutely love being bald. I’d encourage anyone who is thinking about cutting their hair to do so. You’ll probably look FABULOUS.
In case you were wondering, here was my first haircut. It’s gotten shorter and shorter since then.