Tag Archives: career

How to Take Back Your Life from Your To-Do List

26 Oct

HustleBeing emotionally healthy while in 100% Hustle Mode

If you’re like me and tons of other millennials, you work hard. You have a main job, a side hustle, and maybe you’re still in school to advance your career. You refuse to live like many adults you know, who’ve hated their jobs their whole lives. One day—soon—you will turn your side hustle into your main career.

Because of this, and a few other factors in your life (kids, family members to take care of, etc.) your to-do list seems infinite and you never seem to have enough hours in the day.

Like you, I work hard—so hard that I often sacrifice my emotional and physical health to check things of my to-do lists. Last week, when I got into a car accident and I was freaking out about all of the things I had to add to my to-do list because of the accident, I knew I had a problem.

Constant busyness is not healthy. It skews our reality, making simple tasks seem more important than they are, which can cause rushing, anxiety, feelings of powerlessness and many unhealthy habits.

I needed to take my life back from my to-do lists before I completely lost my mind. Here are the 4 ways I’m doing it:

Avoiding conscious busyness

For as long as I can remember, I have lived by the principle that your consciousness determines your outcome— that your thinking determines your life experiences. This is why I am generally an optimistic person who tries to think positively so that I can experience positive outcomes. Usually, I find this to be successful.

Somehow, I forgot to apply that idea about consciousness to my grinding life. If I believe that I create the life I experience with my thoughts, then if I am constantly worrying about how busy I am, I will be perpetually busy. Conscious busyness leads to constant busyness. I have been living this cycle for the past 4 years, and I’m so over it.

A few days ago, I decided I would no longer use “busy” to describe myself. Also, I would no longer act like a busy person, meaning I stopped rushing, stopped driving fast, and decided to cook myself breakfast (can you believe I hadn’t cooked breakfast for myself in over a year because I always felt like I had more important things to do?!). In those few days, I’ve felt a more relaxed. I’m not stressing over small tasks. I go with the flow a little bit more.

Busyness is a choice—it shouldn’t be a lifestyle.

Slowing down

Sometimes I have to remind myself that everything is not an emergency. Rushing only adds to the feelings of stress and anxiety.

Renowned writer Annie Dillard said in one of her books, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And though I’ve been doing it for years, I refuse to spend my entire life rushing around like a crazy person all of the time.

Lightening up my list

Choose wisely what goes on your daily to-do list. Like I said, not everything is an emergency. If I choose 3-5 more important things to do daily rather than 10 smaller things, I’ll feel like I can get a grip on your life. I still get the most important things done without feeling overwhelmed by the un-accomplishable lists I usually create.

 Enjoying being vs. doing

Often times, I have to remind myself to “enjoy the journey.” Though I have a list of things I want to check off, I try to do them consciously. When I sit down at the table, I put my phone out of arms reach so that I can truly enjoy my meal without the distractions. Sometimes, taking my time to do each task correctly and enjoying what I’m doing is more fulfilling than checking everything off of my list.

I constantly have to remind myself:
You have to decide what’s more important: your to-do list or your mental wellness.

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7 Things That Happen When You’re the Only Black Person at Work

24 Jul
First job out of college and I’m the only black person in the office. It’s been interesting, to say the least.  Here are some of the funny and offensive moments I’m sure a lot of us solo black folks have experienced:
1. When you forget to code-switch your language at work.
GIF Oops
2. When your hair becomes a frequent topic of discussion. 
GIF hair
3. When you want to turn down your music in the office parking lot but this Kendrick song is EVERYTHING! GIF Car dance
4. When you’re at a loss for words because your white boss rolled his neck and snapped his fingers in an attempt to act out an “angry black woman.”
GIF 8
GIF Lord
5. When you don’t want to be a stereotype but you’re like “fuck it” and heat up your chicken in the office microwave anyways.
GIF oh well chicken
6. If your parents were a little creative with your name, people feel the need to ask and comment on it.
GIF So 2
7. When you frequently encounter microagressions at work and don’t quite know how to word your response.
GIF 9
Hey Y’all. really need your advice. At work, I’ve had to deal with some semi-racist (aka just plain racist) jokes that aren’t funny.
The thing is–there used to be one black woman in the office before I got there. Given the openly racist things that happen, I don’t think she said much about it. But I cannot be that person. I cannot let this go on while I’m at work and it certainly cannot continue after I’m gone. Then the next black person that comes along is going to have to deal with the same shit and will be stuck in this same awkwardness.
Some folks need to be told up front that what they’re doing is NOT okay. However, given the very casual, always-joking climate of the office, I’ve found it difficult to switch gears to a more serious tone and voice my opinion.
It’s easy to be outspoken with my keyboard, but in person I am sometimes more shy and reserved. I’m new to this office and don’t want to create any tension or drama, but I have to do something about it because it feels wrong not to. I can’t be that person who talks tough on the internet and becomes spineless in person.
How should I handle this?
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