6 Ways to Support a Friend Who Recently Came Out As Asexual

8 Mar

ACE Friendship“Maybe you should see a sex therapist,” one of my closest friends suggested, after I told her my boyfriend and I were having trouble with my asexuality.

“I’m asexual, Cammie. It’s a sexual orientation. It’s not exactly something you can fix–”

“Well, I don’t think you’re trying hard enough,” she said. “How do you expect him to work this out with you if you’re not even willing to try to solve your problem?”

I didn’t feel like protesting any more after Cammie’s last remark, so I gave up and changed the subject. She wasn’t the first to suggest I seek professional help. A few other friends felt my “problem” was psychological, and could be worked out with several trips to a therapist.

I was tired of people telling me there was something wrong with me and hated the reminder that I wasn’t like everyone else.

So I stopped telling friends about my asexuality after that talk with Cammie, but I still needed advice on how to handle my relationship with my allosexual boyfriend. Without bringing up asexuality, I mentioned to another friend that my boyfriend and I were having trouble because of our mismatched levels of sexual desire…read more at Everyday Feminism. 

Hey Fam! I’ve been wanting to publish on Everyday Feminism for years. I was recently hired as a contributing writer there, and will be covering topics related to racism asexuality and more. The full text of this article is there, so  check it out. Thanks for your support!

Photo courtesy of Lionel Fernandez Roca via Flickr.

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