I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse to be a Virgin

13 Mar

Virgin Photo Hey Everyone. I published another article on XO Jane this week–and at first I was keeping it a secret. The article gets really personal, and because of that, I’d originally decided not to publish it on this blog. I usually don’t mind if strangers know my business; however, I know that some of my friends and family members read my blog–and I didn’t really want them to know the details of my (non) sex life. Also, in the midst of searching for a job, I didn’t want potential employers to read the post either.

Then, Jezebel republished the article-and it started getting more attention. Random people and feminist publications tweeted me about it.  A friend of mine saw it and posted it on Facebook. And you know, after something hits Facebook, everyone sees it.
At first, I was somewhat embarrassed that people I knew were reading my private thoughts about sex. But then, more friends wrote on my wall and tweeted me, telling me how the article resonated with them. Apparently, there were many  women who felt the same way I did.

Now I’m glad I shared my story.

So here it is:

I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse to be a Virgin

A few months ago, my friends went around the table talking about the most bizarre places they’ve had sex. When it was my turn, their jaws dropped at my response. Then someone made a soft, “Awww,” — the kind you give a baby after she lets out a burp. It was the first time I admitted to a group of feminists that I was a virgin — something I’d been ashamed of for a while.

I’m not religious, I don’t have a fear of sex, and I have an awesome boyfriend of 2 years who would be at my doorstep in seconds with a box of condoms if I made that call. On top of all that, I occasionally write for a sex-positive site called Slutist. But despite these factors, I am a 22-year-old virgin.

I know 22 isn’t really that old. But in a country where the average age of virginity loss is 17, teens are having sex on popular TV shows (I’m sure in a few years, even characters on Disney Channel will be getting their freak on), and feminists have worked tirelessly to make it OK for young women to embrace their sexuality, 22 seems a little late in the game. My few virgin friends and I are the weirdoes.

Most people don’t understand it — not even my own mother, who is beginning to wonder if something is psychologically wrong with me.

What my mother and friends don’t know is that just like them, I also don’t understand why I’m not having sex…Read more

Author’s Note: This piece was originally published on XO Jane and republished on Jezebel. You can read the full article by clicking the link above.

2 Responses to “I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse to be a Virgin”

  1. linddykal March 13, 2014 at 2:22 PM #

    Good for you. That’s what feminism is all about, taking control of your own body, whatever choices those may be.



  1. Top 9 AWW Posts of 2014… Did You Miss Any? | A Womyn's Worth - December 16, 2014

    […] I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse to be a Virgin (Published on XO Jane) […]


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