Tag Archives: beauty

Natural Hair vs. Weaves: It’s Time to End this Battle

21 Jul

NAT solangeLast week, The Root published an article criticizing a meme that made fun of black women who wear weaves.

Weave V. Natural

Writer Jenée Desmond-Harris pointed out that this meme makes various assumptions about black women and their hair.

Contrary to what I expected, when I scrolled through the comments, tons of people agreed with the meme. Many of them argued that all black women who do not wear their hair in a natural style are struggling with low self-esteem, internalized racism, and self-hate.

In order to pull some folks out of this shallow, misguided thinking, I immediately felt the need to write this post. Let a buzzed-cut girl (who’s been natural her whole life) break it down.  It’s passed time to end this hair feud.

In defense of weaves and wigs:

Now I won’t sit here and act like internalized racism isn’t an issue in our community. Some people have been taught (at very young ages) that nappy hair is ugly and unkempt. Sometimes weaves, relaxers and other hair trends are an expression of the internalized black hate that has been in our world for centuries.

However, not every girl with a weave has internalized racist views about her hair.

Wearing a weave doesn’t automatically mean you have low self-esteem or self-hate just like wearing natural hair doesn’t automatically mean you’re confident. Michelle Obama wears a weave. So does Janet Mock, Oprah, Shonda Rhimes, Kerry Washington, Beverly Bond (Creator of Black Girls Rock), and many other powerful women. These women have to have a certain level of confidence in order to make it as far as they have.

Oftentimes women wear weaves for protective styling and convenience. Sometimes it’s easier to throw on a cute wig or wear a weave rather than raking through your hair and styling it all the time. Natural styles, including locs, can take quite a bit of time and effort to maintain.

In defense of Naturalistas:

Being natural isn’t always easy. It takes a lot of courage to be natural in a society that has an all-around hate for natural hair.

Natural girls get very little love in the mainstream, as very few of our major pop stars wear their hair natural when they’re in the spotlight. You hardly find natural hair in Hollywood, fashion, or even the White House (Wouldn’t it be cool to see FLOTUS rockin some double-strand twists). Natural hair is still pretty revolutionary, because unfortunately, our world still has an obsession with European standards of beauty Unfortunately, our naturalistas are penalized and attacked for wearing their natural hair in various situations. Locs and afros are often viewed as unprofessional in a work environment, several private schools have banned little black girls from wearing afro puffs, and black women in the military have recently faced stricter regulations on certain natural styles.

NAT hairYet, natural hair has become on-trend lately. Tons of women are having the Big Chop, and there are beauty bloggers, tons of Pintrest, Tumblr, and Instagram accounts dedicated to natural hair.

Yes, we do need to teach that black hair is beautiful in its natural state, but we don’t need to shame others for straighter styles.

There are benefits and drawbacks to both natural hair, weaves, and relaxed hair. People do what works best for them.

At the end of the day, who died and made anybody the hair police? Browsing the internet, you’ll find memes making fun of natural girls and shaming girls with weaves. So whether you wear a weave or your own hair, small-minded people will talk shit either way. If you have a problem with anyone’s hair type or texture, this is all I have to say to you:

Mind ya businessMind ya business, that’s all. Just mind ya business. If it ain’t growing out of your scalp then you have no need to comment or feel any type of way about it.

 

Love what you read? Share it with your friends on Facebook!

I Wear Short Shorts BECAUSE I’m a Feminist

19 Jul

Slide1

#IWearShortShorts #FierceFeminism

The other day I was sitting in a restaurant next to a man and I heard him say: “That girl’s shorts are too short. Looks like her daddy’s just preparing her for the stripper pole.” The girl and her father didn’t hear the comment, but I felt sick to my stomach. I was angry, but I didn’t really know what to say to him—I just knew he was wrong.

The very next week, the NY Daily News posted a picture of Sasha Obama in short shorts, and the media attacked Sasha, saying her clothes were “inappropriate.” Sasha Obama Shorts

Clutch Magazine ran Sasha’s story on their site, and commenters both defended and criticized Sasha’s clothing choice.  However, one commenter argued, “The real question shouldn’t be why little girls wear shorts, President’s daughter or not, but should be: why are grown people sexualizing little girls?”

I agree. Sasha and the girl I saw are just girls in shorts. The adult commenters are the ones sexualizing little girls. So if you have a problem with girls wearing short shorts, you should probably stop attributing sexual characteristics to them and just let them live their lives.

I’ve heard the argument that we must teach young girls to cover up in order to avoid being objectified. Yet, we really need to get out of this “she was asking for it” mindset. Instead of teaching girls to cover up in order to avoid perverts or judgment from others, we should teach others to stop poaching on children. I know it’s a reach because our society is very quick to blame the woman—but wearing short shorts is harmless. It doesn’t create danger for bystanders. It doesn’t kill innocent people. It’s kind of like the slogan “instead of teaching women to avoid rape, teach men not to rape.” Instead of telling girls to cover up, let’s encourage everyone not to sexualize them.

I’ve also heard the argument that young girls shouldn’t be allowed to wear revealing attire because they’re growing up too fast. I get that. Maybe girls are growing up fast, but come on—it’s not the literal clothing that’s making them grow up faster. If they are “fast girls” they are fast whether they wear revealing clothes or not. The clothes aren’t making them fast. I’d blame that on a combination of things: an overdose of sex-oriented advertisements marketed to young girls, poor role models in pop culture, lack of self-confidence and maturity, and so much more. Forcing a young girl to put on less revealing clothing doesn’t change the way she feels about herself, nor does it change her behavior.

Also, the judgment doesn’t stop when girls get older. Grown women who show a lot of skin are constantly shamed and deemed “slutty.”

We do it to one another. We shame other women based on how much cleavage is showing or how short their dress is because have been raised in a society that teaches that overtly sexy women are “impure” and deserve less respect. So we police their behavior and their appearance, label them sluts, and ook upon them as if they is stupid or broken.

But seriously—What is wrong with a woman being sexy? If she loves her body,  then she has the right to dress it as she pleases.

No one should have to alter their appearance to fit into what society believes is the “appropriate” or “respectable” way a woman should dress. In my understanding, part of being a feminist means loving yourself enough that you express yourself however you want, and allowing others to do the same.

Feminists challenge the ideas about women who show their bodies being “impure” or not worthy of respect. Therefore, I wear short shorts because I am a feminist (and for several other reasons—see amateur poetry below).

I wear short shorts because I am a feminist.

I wear short shorts because I want to, and because no one else can tell me what to do with my body.

I wear short shorts because it’s hot outside.

I wear short shorts because I love my body.

I wear short shorts because they are part of my outfit.

I wear short shorts because I like attention.

I wear short shorts because I’m sexy, and no, I am not “asking for it.”

I wear short shorts because I can— Get the f*ck over it.

You have to know that what I’m saying is not that revolutionary of a concept. Thousands of women partake in yearly Slut Walks, protest marches that calls for an end to slut shaming and rape culture.  Some feminists have even embraced the term “slut” in an attempt to reappropriate its meaning. Sluts now have their own website (What’s up Slutist!). Internationally, women have fought against slut-shaming and victim-blaming. Yet, it is difficult to protest sexist ideas that have existed in our society for centuries.

To contribute to this discussion on slut-shaming, for the next few weeks, my posts will be catered to body and sexual politics. In addition, I will utilize my facebook, pintrest, and tumblr for my “I Wear Short Shorts” mini photo-campaign.

For further reading on body politics and all things sluttty, check out Slutist.com.

The Pressure to be Pretty

26 Jun

IMPRETTY

“You Don’t Have to be Pretty”

It sometimes takes me around 35 minutes to pick out an outfit. It seems I am never satisfied with the first few I try on—so I try on more and more clothes. By the end of my fashion rampage, half of the clothes in my closet are on the floor, my room is a complete mess, and I’ve gone through at least six outfits. Eventually, I have to throw something on, dash off to wherever I’m headed and hope to arrive on time. This used to happen 4 or 5 times a week.

Sound like anyone you know?

I don’t always leave the house proud of what I have on. Sometimes it’s just not good enough. I sometimes don’t feel stylish enough, edgy enough, or pretty enough.

Recently, I came across this quote:

“You Don’t Have to Be Pretty. You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked ‘female.’”

 -From Erin McKean, creator of the blog A Dress a Day

I have always felt the pressure to be pretty—haven’t we all?

That is why many of us spend so much time getting ready in the mornings. In my mind, its like: I must leave the house looking fabulous or else…

We are taught (often at dangerously early ages) that we are supposed to be pretty. And if we do not, we will have less fun, we will never date and get married, and we will fail as women. Of course, most people don’t say that out loud, but it’s part of our society’s consciousness. No one comments on the bags under Bill Clinton’s eyes, yet everyone has something to say about Hilary’s pants suits. No one cares how handsome or not handsome Bill Gates is, but everyone wants to comment on how Oprah is looking older and older these days. Male rappers can have F-ed up teeth, hideous clothes, and protruding stomachs covered in tattoos (gag), but current female rappers must fit a certain sexy mold. A woman can be politically, creatively, and monetarily successful, but at the same time,  she is always expected to look pretty.

But feeling the pressure to be beautiful all the time is exhausting. More important than feeling pretty is feeling free—and I can’t feel free if I feel like I can’t walk out of the house until I am perfect.

Two years ago, I was inspired by words from author and autoimmune cooking expert Mee McCormick. Visiting our class one day, she told us, “I don’t get dressed for anyone else.” She explained that when we dress for others, we feel trapped in the many opinions of other people telling us what to wear. There is a freedom that comes with doing things for ourselves.

That element of freedom: doing things because you want to do them and not caring what anyone else expects of you kind of reminds me of this:

notasingle

Finally, I have to add: there is more than one way to be pretty. So be pretty or don’t be, but you probably can’t help yourself…you’re always pretty (unless you don’t want to be—then you don’t you don’t have to).

Shout Out: Thanks Erin McKean and Mee McCormick for inspiring this post!

Related posts: On Wanting to be a big Booty Hoe: The Definition of Sexy