Hey Everyone. I published another article on XO Jane this week–and at first I was keeping it a secret. The article gets really personal, and because of that, I’d originally decided not to publish it on this blog. I usually don’t mind if strangers know my business; however, I know that some of my friends and family members read my blog–and I didn’t really want them to know the details of my (non) sex life. Also, in the midst of searching for a job, I didn’t want potential employers to read the post either.
Now I’m glad I shared my story.
So here it is:
I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse to be a Virgin
A few months ago, my friends went around the table talking about the most bizarre places they’ve had sex. When it was my turn, their jaws dropped at my response. Then someone made a soft, “Awww,” — the kind you give a baby after she lets out a burp. It was the first time I admitted to a group of feminists that I was a virgin — something I’d been ashamed of for a while.
I’m not religious, I don’t have a fear of sex, and I have an awesome boyfriend of 2 years who would be at my doorstep in seconds with a box of condoms if I made that call. On top of all that, I occasionally write for a sex-positive site called Slutist. But despite these factors, I am a 22-year-old virgin.
I know 22 isn’t really that old. But in a country where the average age of virginity loss is 17, teens are having sex on popular TV shows (I’m sure in a few years, even characters on Disney Channel will be getting their freak on), and feminists have worked tirelessly to make it OK for young women to embrace their sexuality, 22 seems a little late in the game. My few virgin friends and I are the weirdoes.
Most people don’t understand it — not even my own mother, who is beginning to wonder if something is psychologically wrong with me.
What my mother and friends don’t know is that just like them, I also don’t understand why I’m not having sex…Read more
Author’s Note: This piece was originally published on XO Jane and republished on Jezebel. You can read the full article by clicking the link above.
A Woman's Worth 
Black Feminist Backlash I’m Tired of Hearing
28 FebTop 5 Things Not to Say to a Black Feminist
“Uh oh, she quoted bell hooks. That’s how you know it’s serious,” said one of my guy friends while reading an article I’d written on Katy Perry’s cultural appropriation for the Ms. magazine blog.
He and another friend were impressed with my stance on appropriation’s way of reinforcing harmful stereotypes, but their response wasn’t the general response.
Of course, that wasn’t the only article I’ve written that’s gotten negative feedback, and I’m not the first writer to ever be told that my work is “a load of bs.” However, as I review the comments on my writing and on the writing of other black feminists on the web, I’ve noticed a pattern of backlash. The disapproving comments usually fall into 5 main responses. And since I’m sick of reading the same old comments on every black feminist/womanist blog or website, I think it’s time to address the backlash. Read more…
Author’s Note: Hey Everyone. This article was originally published on XO Jane (Ya girl got published again!). So you can read the rest of the article there. Hope you enjoy!
Oh, and heads up! A Womyn’s Worth got a Facebook page (I know—long overdue). So like it on Facebook, share it with your friends, and enjoy.
P.S. This article is part of the Top Posts. Check out the Best of A Womyn’s Worth.
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Tags: Beyonce, Black Feminism, comments, Lily Allen, Womanism