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Your Top Posts of 2013…Did You Miss Any?

30 Dec

With over 20,000 views in 121 countries, 2013 has been an amazing year for A Womyn’s Worth.  I used to get excited when 15 people read my post per day. Imagine my surprise when I woke up to see 800 views one morning, and 3,000 that evening for some of my top posts. AWW did awesome for its first year.

In case you missed any, here’s a look back at a few of readers’ favorite posts from 2013.

A SHORTSI Wear Short Shorts BECAUSE I’m a Feminist (6,090 views)
“What is wrong with a woman being sexy? If she loves her body,  then she has the right to dress it as she pleases.

No one should have to alter their appearance to fit into what society believes is the “appropriate” or “respectable” way a woman should dress. In my understanding, part of being a feminist means loving yourself enough that you express yourself however you want and allowing others to do the same.”

9 Totally Appropriate Responses to “You Don’t Act/Sound Black” (5,200+ views)
A handy list of responses in case someone decides that you aren’t a legit Black person. (I say it’s an appropriate list—but appropriateness is relative. You be the judge.)

This Week’s Most Offensive Internet Meme
back women COMPARISON“There’s a reason you haven’t heard much about the ambitious Black women of 2013. Women like Moya Bailey, Tatyana Fazlalizadeh, Melissa Harris-Perry, and Sil Lai Abrams aren’t trending on reality TV, Vine, Worldstar, and Youtube because they don’t fit certain stereotypes. Kanye isn’t going to feature those women in his music videos and Tyler Perry will write them in his script as heartless bitches simply because they are powerful.”

You Can Find Me in Da Club—but Don’t Touch Me!
“When did my body become public property? Just because my ass is big doesn’t mean you have license to grab it.”

YES YOU CAN: Twerk and Have a Brain
“Welcome to this week’s episode of ‘How Not to be a Feminist,’ starring Lily Allen.LILY ALLEN2

She sings about how women in the industry are objectified—and then she turns right around and objectifies the backup dancers, who are mostly black women.

The message is clear: It’s not okay to objectify women, unless they’re women of color.”

Feminism Gets a Bad Facelift
Rebrand“Originally, the Rebranding Feminism Contest looked like another bad facelift on a type of feminism that is no stranger to the back-alley plastic surgeon—a type of feminism whose privileged members seek to revamp the movement, yet, blindly fail to address the experiences of women of color, the LGBT community, low-income workers, and full-time mothers. Yes, maybe this type of feminism should seek an upgrade.”

Am I Black Enough?
“The ‘problem’ is: I don’t fit the stereotype of what the media says a Black woman should be. The societal definition of what it means to be Black (which is dangerously similar to the racist 19th Century beliefs of colonial powers) is how some of us define ourselves…

So I’m not going to define myself by racist standards of what it means to be Black—because you can’t be genuine if others are still defining who you are.”

Top 20 Things You Must Do in Your Twenties
“Now that I’ve supposedly entered ‘the real world’ and am considered an ADULT (even though I don’t feel like one), I’ve wanted to create a checklist for Twenty-Somethings. So I asked many women (and a few men), ages 21-82, what they think we should do in our twenties.” Do you have these things on your checklist?

Wanting to be a Big Booty Hoe
BIGBOOTY HOE“As women, many of us are all taught at young ages —either from our parents, magazines, music, or the world around us—that part of our duty is to be pleasing to the eye. Scholars Sheila Lintott and Sherri Irvin explain in “Sex Objects and Sexy Subjects: A Feminist Reclamation of Sexiness,” women are socialized to believe that being sexy is essential to their value as human beings, and that only certain looks are defined as sexy. When someone fails to adhere to those narrow standards of sexy she may be viewed as less of a woman.

That is how I felt when I looked in the mirror and saw my lack of curves: I was less sexy; I was less of a woman.”

Welcome to Slut Shamer Rehab
“We’ve all done it: Shook our heads at the girl who decided to dress in a way that was too provocative for our own good taste, while in the back of our minds thought, “Where are the rest of her clothes?” Then we’d mentally label her a slut or skank, and if we were mean enough, we would give her a stank face and utter a few words under our breath. We’d stand high and mighty in our not-so-skanky stilettos and turn our noses up at the “slut” who dared leave the house and enter our wholesome presence showing all her goodies.”

Top Woman Rappers You NEED On Your Playlist
ANGEL HAZE“If you were challenged to name as many current women rappers as you can and then asked to do the same for male rappers, I’m guessing your list would be pretty heavy with testosterone. I bet you could name a few veteran rappers, like Foxy Brown, Lil Kim, Missy Elliott, and Remy Ma — but not too many artists making music now.”

News Flash: Women rappers are NOT an endangered species.

Top 7 Perks of Shaving Your Head
BALDWOMEN“As bald and buzzed cuts become increasingly popular, women are daring to shave their heads. I’ve worn a buzzed cut for nearly 3 years, and I have to say: it’s been a psychological, emotional, and amusing experience. I had to adjust to a different look and reactions that I got because of the new look. Hair is major part of a person’s identity, and there are implications whenever someone drastically changes their hair. And honestly, there are so many advantages to having no hair.”

A Womyn’s Worth  is successful because of its readers. For all of you who’ve ever shared a post on Facebook, I’m so grateful My stats increase by the hundreds with every share. Seriously, THANK YOU!

Next year we will continue with more intriguing and necessary discussions on Black feminism,  pop culture, sexual politics, hip hop, race, and everything in between. Thanks again for reading and sharing :).

Come Correct! The Right Way to Approach a Woman

25 Nov

HOW TO APPROACH A WOMAN

Yesterday I found this on the internet:

Image

And it made me start to think about the way we approach people when we want to ask them out.

Some men go straight for the rude approach and catcall. And for those street harassers, two awesome artists,  Photographer Hannah Price and street artist/illustrator Tatyana Fazlalizadeh, found a new way to call out their catcallers. Whenever someone catcalled at Price, she turned her camera on the guy and snapped his photo, which she published in a project called “City of Brotherly Love.”  Fazlalizadeh illustrated several posters to put up around cities with messages that read, “Women are not outside for your entertainment” and “Stop telling women to smile,” among other things.

In previous posts, I’ve talked about the wrong ways to approach women and my horrific encounters with guys who felt entitled to touch my body as if it were public property. Yet, I’ve never talked about the correct way to approach a woman. And with all the stories I’ve heard from friends who tell me about awful experiences they’ve had with guys who violated their personal space, clearly, some people need to learn.

I recently met a guy who had been taught how to respectfully (and smoothly) approach a woman. Male readers, take note:

I was sitting on a bench on campus reading a boring book for class when this guy walks by and asks what I’m reading. (LESSON 1- Comment on something other than my body).

He sits down on another bench nearby (LESSON 2- Respect personal space). We chat briefly about the book and then talk about our majors. (LESSON 3- Have a nice and brief conversation). After about 4 minutes, he asked for my number. And when I told him no, he responded, “Well I hope you have a nice day and that your book gets better,” and then he was on his way (LESSON 4- Walk away respectfully).

As he left, I felt the need to give him a round of applause. Sadly, no strange man had been that respectful to me in a long time. I so appreciated his approach: simple and respectful. But it’s pretty sad that I felt the need to thank him. It’s sad that I have to tell strangers not to touch my body or that I don’t appreciate the way they talk to me. But because it’s such an issue, I’m going to make a point to thank the guys that approach me respectfully. Hopefully, that encourages them and others to continue to do so.

And since I didn’t get a chance to thank that guy:

Dear Dwaine,

Thank you for treating me like a human being.

Related Posts: “Aye Sexy” is NOT How I Like to be Approached

There Won’t be a Second Date If…

You Can Find Me in Da Club—but Don’t Touch Me!

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Feminism Gets a Bad Facelift

6 Nov

Feminism Goes Under the Knife

Rebrand1For a while now, various individuals, media outlets, and organizations have called for the rebranding of feminism, claiming that the movement’s bad rep (you know: man-hating, no-shaving, bra-burning lesbians) must be fixed. Last month, Women’s media platform Vitamin W made a big “oopsie” when launching what they call the “Rebranding Feminism” contest.

Originally, the contest looked like another bad facelift on a type of feminism that is no stranger to the back-alley plastic surgeon—a type of feminism whose privileged members seek to revamp the movement, yet, blindly fail to address the experiences of women of color, the LGBT community, low-income workers, and full-time mothers. Yes, maybe this type of feminism should seek an upgrade.

Vitamin W’s mistake was their approach: Their original signage, presenting a white woman in business attire drinking Scotch, called for people to create an image, video, or poster to represent the new face of feminism.

Fem Makeover

(click for larger image)

Ironically, the contest displayed the very reasons many educated women who fight for gender equality do not identify as feminists. The woman’s image and some of the wording on the signage (the wording offended many people who do not identify as male or female) displayed the historically exclusionary practices of the feminist movement .

Fortunately, there was immediate outrage on the internet and Vitamin W listened. They changed their signage, and have recently announced their contest winner, who was smart enough not to use an image that would be viewed as discriminatory. However, neither the change in Vitamin W’s signage nor the winning poster touches the heart of the issue.

Rebranding enthusiasts tend to focus on changing the face of feminism so that it’s prettier and more inviting to the masses. Yet, we don’t need a commercialized version of feminism because feminism isn’t always pretty—it isn’t 24-7 Kumbaya. Sometimes it’s about checking your privilege, admitting the ways you have wrongly (sometimes unknowingly) oppressed others, and shutting up so you can listen to people with experiences different from your own. Otherwise, the movement becomes as weak as 2 Chainz’ lyrics, with uninformed feminists who talk a good game about solidarity, but are grossly bigoted. A cutesy version of feminism would water down the multifaceted aspects of the movement and its potential to address not only gender issues, but also intersecting issues of race, class, sexuality, ability, and everything in between.

Instead of preparing feminism for facial reconstruction to appeal to audiences who shy away from the F word, rebranding enthusiasts should switch their focus. As a participant in on Bitch Media’s rebranding feminism online discussion panel suggested, those seeking to upgrade feminism should address the needs of women who already identify as feminists or believers in gender quality, but feel left out of the movement. Just ask the women who participated in #solidarityisforwhitewomen, a hashtag that fuelled worldwide discussion about how women of color feel their issues are unaddressed by the feminist movement.

Mainstream feminists in the movement need to open their eyes and acknowledge issues of women who aren’t quite as privileged. For example, feminist campaigns to widen access to Plan B, often do not benefit women on Native American reservations, who in many cases, have the least amount of access in the country. White feminists who reclaim the word slut fail to realize that it isn’t quite as easy for Black women to do so. And exactly where was all of the feminist outrage, rallying, and campaigning when reporters announced that California doctors illegally sterilized about 150 women in prison?

Clearly, rebranding without any real effort to acknowledge all equality issues isn’t going to solve the exclusivity problems in the movement. Instead of simply talking about feminism being an all-inclusive fight for equality, we have to truly be about it.

Unfortunately, Vitamin W’s contest won’t be the last we hear about rebranding. Elle U.K. has made it their task for their November issue, and an organization called We are the XX recently created a new “feminist manifesto.”  But frankly, these tired calls to rebrand feminism are futile.

Rebranding isn’t enough. It isn’t enough to make feminism “cool.” Instead, as writer Samhita says in a recent Feministing article, “As much as it is easy to rest on the “equality between the sexes” definition of feminism, if we want to change public perception of feminism, we actually have to change feminism itself. We have to both push for a world that demands gender equality, while pushing for a feminism that acknowledges, accepts, and truly incorporates difference.”

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