11 Best Holiday Gifts for Him

27 Nov

Christmas giftSome of you crazies are going shopping on Black Friday. I can’t deal with the madness. I will be posted in my comfortable bed writing an article on Hilary vs. Bernie and the Black vote (coming soon…look out for it). But, y’all have fun, and pick out something nice for me.

If you’re joining the holiday shopping rush to find bae a gift, I’m here to help you out. I’m a pro at shopping for my boyfriend. Everything I buy him, he loves. He wears last year’s Christmas gift (a nice pair of shoes) to every event he attends. All his other, mediocre shoes haven’t left the closet in nearly a year.

Before that, I’ve bought him concert tickets to see Kendrick and Kanye, nice sweaters, jackets, leather journals, and more. In high school, I got him a teddy bear with a jersey that matched his football jersey, which I sewed by hand. Basically, I’m the best. I haven’t picked out this year’s gift, but I’ll probably pull from these options.

So if you’re stuck, try out some of these gift ideas:

For the Instagram/Tumblr models

  • A nice outfit

Sweaters, shoes and ties always win. These options are especially great if your boo needs a wardrobe upgrade.

For the goal-oriented guys

  • A domain name for his website
  • GRE/MCAT/LSAT/GMAT study materials
  • Business cards
  • Workout equipment
  • Gym membership

I wish somebody would front me the $800 for my sign language interpreter certification exam. I would be eternally grateful for it. Gifts in this category show that you support your partner’s big dreams. Pair all of these gifts with a nice sweater or something tangible he can unwrap.

For the beer connoisseurs

  • Beer glasses
  • Tickets to a beer festival

Make sure you buy the right kind of beer glasses for the particular beer he likes to drink. Or, if he likes several types, get a whole set. I saw a few sets on Amazon that were reasonably priced.

For music lovers

  • Noise-canceling headphones
  • Concert tickets

I really don’t think you can go wrong with either of these options. Who doesn’t like music?

The last resort
I know they say gift cards are tacky, but I’m 100% in favor of them. I like to buy gifts I know someone will enjoy. And if I’m not sure what they want, I buy them something small and pair it with a gift card. Then they can pick out whatever they want.

 By the way, I focused on “gifts for him” because many people complain that it’s hard to shop for guys. However, these gifts work for all genders.

 FYI, if you’re looking for a way to support Black-owned businesses during the holiday season, check out this list of places to shop. Or try these Black creators on Etsy.



How to Take Back Your Life from Your To-Do List

26 Oct

HustleBeing emotionally healthy while in 100% Hustle Mode

If you’re like me and tons of other millennials, you work hard. You have a main job, a side hustle, and maybe you’re still in school to advance your career. You refuse to live like many adults you know, who’ve hated their jobs their whole lives. One day—soon—you will turn your side hustle into your main career.

Because of this, and a few other factors in your life (kids, family members to take care of, etc.) your to-do list seems infinite and you never seem to have enough hours in the day.

Like you, I work hard—so hard that I often sacrifice my emotional and physical health to check things of my to-do lists. Last week, when I got into a car accident and I was freaking out about all of the things I had to add to my to-do list because of the accident, I knew I had a problem.

Constant busyness is not healthy. It skews our reality, making simple tasks seem more important than they are, which can cause rushing, anxiety, feelings of powerlessness and many unhealthy habits.

I needed to take my life back from my to-do lists before I completely lost my mind. Here are the 4 ways I’m doing it:

Avoiding conscious busyness

For as long as I can remember, I have lived by the principle that your consciousness determines your outcome— that your thinking determines your life experiences. This is why I am generally an optimistic person who tries to think positively so that I can experience positive outcomes. Usually, I find this to be successful.

Somehow, I forgot to apply that idea about consciousness to my grinding life. If I believe that I create the life I experience with my thoughts, then if I am constantly worrying about how busy I am, I will be perpetually busy. Conscious busyness leads to constant busyness. I have been living this cycle for the past 4 years, and I’m so over it.

A few days ago, I decided I would no longer use “busy” to describe myself. Also, I would no longer act like a busy person, meaning I stopped rushing, stopped driving fast, and decided to cook myself breakfast (can you believe I hadn’t cooked breakfast for myself in over a year because I always felt like I had more important things to do?!). In those few days, I’ve felt a more relaxed. I’m not stressing over small tasks. I go with the flow a little bit more.

Busyness is a choice—it shouldn’t be a lifestyle.

Slowing down

Sometimes I have to remind myself that everything is not an emergency. Rushing only adds to the feelings of stress and anxiety.

Renowned writer Annie Dillard said in one of her books, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” And though I’ve been doing it for years, I refuse to spend my entire life rushing around like a crazy person all of the time.

Lightening up my list

Choose wisely what goes on your daily to-do list. Like I said, not everything is an emergency. If I choose 3-5 more important things to do daily rather than 10 smaller things, I’ll feel like I can get a grip on your life. I still get the most important things done without feeling overwhelmed by the un-accomplishable lists I usually create.

 Enjoying being vs. doing

Often times, I have to remind myself to “enjoy the journey.” Though I have a list of things I want to check off, I try to do them consciously. When I sit down at the table, I put my phone out of arms reach so that I can truly enjoy my meal without the distractions. Sometimes, taking my time to do each task correctly and enjoying what I’m doing is more fulfilling than checking everything off of my list.

I constantly have to remind myself:
You have to decide what’s more important: your to-do list or your mental wellness.

4 Natural hair mistakes you learned from your mother

28 Sep

GIF OopsSix years ago, I shaved my head bald and didn’t look back. I rocked that buzz cut until a few months ago when I wanted to mix things up and grow my hair back. I decided to go 100 percent no-heat natural this time rather than the press and curl I’d worn in high school and part of college. Yet after several years without hair, I didn’t quite know how to take care of the new growth. I went back to methods from the ’90s that I’d learned from my mother. Luckily, friends helped me quickly realize my main mistakes.

Mother always knows best… but you may have to school her on a few natural hair faux pas.

1. Your mama’s hair grease isn’t always your friend

Remember when super thick hair greases like Dax and Blue Magic were your mother’s go-to product for greasing your scalp? Read more…

Hey Fam! I published this article on Blavity.com, so check out the full list and see what hair mistakes you’ve been making.


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